Holding on to Someday Read online

All I can think about is my breath. Fire-breathing dragons probably have more appeal than I do right now. We’ve been sprawled out on the floor for over two hours laughing, making notes, and eating pizza along with a bag of Doritos. Doritos always equal raunchy breath, and I’m starting to feel self-conscious.

  “Do you have any gum?” I ask him.

  He laughs, “I think I have some candy up in my room. I feel like I could use a sweet fix after all that salty. My lips are starting to pucker.” I laugh as he makes a fishy face and crosses his eyes.

  “I’ll go up and grab it. Be right back,” Drew says as he gets up and jogs toward the hallway.

  While I wait for Drew to return, I glance around the lobby. A couple sits in the far corner of the room entangled in each other’s arms hugging, kissing, and giggling. I find myself watching them for a few minutes. I can only wonder if Drew and I will ever be like that. Does he like me that way? Will he ever want to go out on a real date with me? I am a senior in college, so it’s about time that I start thinking about my future. What am I going to do after college? Will I be in a relationship by the time graduation rolls around?

  I would really like that… a relationship. It fits into the traditional "life after college" plan. You know, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids. I've had several relationships over the years; nothing long-term, but long enough to classify boyfriend/girlfriend status. However, for some reason, those relationships never panned out, and I always ended up in the friend zone. What is it about me that screams, “Hey chick…let’s hangout…but not make-out.” It’s not like I'm supermodel status, but I don’t think I’m Bride of Frankenstein either. I guess you could say I'm average. I'm tall, but not too tall, long dirty-blonde hair, light blue eyes...slimmish build. I've been told on more than one occasion; I look like Kelly Taylor from the TV show 90210. So yeah, there is no reason I shouldn’t have a boyfriend...but I don't. Could it be my name? Clara May Willet. Eh. I’ve never liked my name.

  Drew comes back down the hall and beckons me out of my stupor. Holding a bag of M&M’s and a bag of Jolly Rancher candies in each hand, he calls out to me with a broad smile, showing his dimples again, “Found something.”

  “Mmmmm,” I say as I reach for the bag of M&M’s. “Sweet and sour. A perfect mix.” I’m going to get fat if I keep hanging around him and we keep eating like this.

  He plops down beside me on the couch. “So, I think we have a pretty good start here. We have a business model set up. We have a plan. Now we need to get the research part of it established,” he says as he pops a grape flavored Jolly Rancher into his mouth.

  “Those are my favorite.”

  Drew looks at me curiously, “What?”

  I point to the empty wrapper he’s holding in his hand. “Grape. That’s my favorite Jolly Rancher flavor,” I say.

  He grins, “Me too.”

  “So, where to next? Now that we have all this laid out,” he says. “We need to schedule our next study date to start putting it all together.”

  Thinking about spending the next two months working on this project with Drew excites me. I enjoyed our time together tonight. It seemed natural, relaxed. Once we got to his dorm, I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I had been in the beginning.

  “Well, we can meet next Friday night again, if you want?” I ask him. “I know you have practice most afternoons. Since we have the rest of the semester to work on this, we can take our time.”

  Drew props his elbows on his knees, tucking his fist under his chin, observing the papers in front of us. “Yeah… that will probably be okay. Maybe we can each take a couple of sections to start working on before we get back together next Friday.”

  “Sounds great,” I tell him as I grab a couple of stacks of papers. “I’ll take these for now and go ahead and start my research.”

  Drew grabs a few stacks as well and we gather up the rest of the papers, putting them into a folder, and I agree to keep everything else for now. “It’s getting late, so I guess I should probably get back to the apartment. Plus, you have a game tomorrow, so you need your rest. Don’t want the coach busting your chops for missing curfew,” I say with a smile.

  “Ah… coach won’t say anything to me. He knows I’m not out doing the party scene like half of the team. As long as I'm not out gallivanting around town at midnight, he’s not too strict.”

  “Good. So I guess I’ll get going then,” I say as I make my way toward the door while Drew follows me. “Hold up a sec, Clara. I’m just going to run this stuff up to my room, and I’ll be right back down. I’ll walk you back to your apartment.”

  I start to say he doesn't have to walk me back, but he must sense my words and stops me. “I insist. I came to your apartment to pick you up, and I’m going to deliver you back to your door safe and sound. No arguments.”

  I blush, and a smile spreads across my face. “Thank you, Drew. That is really kind of you.”

  “No worries, Clara. What kind of man would I be if I let you walk across campus all alone this late at night? Wolves… remember? I’ll be right back,” and he darts up the hallway before I can utter any further protest. I could really get used to him.

  He’s back before I know it and opens the door and gestures for me to walk out. “So, tonight was fun right?” he asks as we make our way across the dim pathway leading across the quad.

  “Oh yeah… I had a great time, and I didn’t have to pick any toppings off my pizza.” I bump his shoulder, and he laughs at my remark.

  “Yeah…I’ll admit I was kinda nervous about that one.” Our conversation back to my apartment is comfortable. It’s not a very long walk, which is why I was confused when he showed up to walk me to his dorm. Nevertheless, I like it. A lot.

  As we approach my apartment and walk up to the second story, he stops at my door. Hands in his pockets, he asks, “So, Clara… are you planning on coming to the game tomorrow?”

  Let me preface this by saying that I am not a sports person. Spending my Saturday afternoon at a football game is not high on my list of things to do. I’d rather sleep in or read a good book. However, any sporting event on campus is usually pretty fun as long as you have friends with you. If there's a game, and Marabeth and Julie are on campus, they will more than likely be there. Of course, Julie shows up to any type of game that involves boys in uniform.

  I realize Drew is still waiting for an answer while I ponder my dislike of sports in general. “Well, I really haven’t thought about it, Drew,” I tell him.

  He pauses, looking at me, “I’d really like it if you would come tomorrow, but I understand if you have other plans.”

  “Oh no, I don’t have anything planned. I just haven’t really thought about it, but I’ll come,” I respond awkwardly. If Drew is making an effort to ask me to come, there is no way I'm turning this down.

  “Okay… that would be great Clara. I would like that a lot.”

  Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump…. That’s my heart, slamming against my chest in excitement.

  “So, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” I tell him. Drew looks at me with his beautiful grin, and those dimples, and says, “Yep. See you tomorrow. Good night, Clara.”

  As he walks away, he turns and looks at me over his shoulder. I give him a wave and a smile. I stand in the doorway for a moment before walking into my apartment to face my roommates and their one million questions. Something about the way he looked at me when he said “Good night” intrigues me. There is something there… in his eyes. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it pulls at my gut. And I like the way it feels.

  4

  Crazy Roommates and Football Games

  I put my key in the door, but before I can unlock it, the door swings open. Startled, I jump as Julie shoves past me and runs into the breezeway.

  “Where is he? Did he walk you back? What did y’all do? Did he try to kiss you?” Oh my gosh…here comes the twenty questions. Julie is overkill about boys. She’s had her fair share of boyfriends, but she tends to go overbo
ard with Marabeth and me. Her parents should have named her Nosey Nelly.

  “He’s not here, Julie. He already left. But, to answer your question, yes, he walked me back,” I tell her as I walk in and drop my bag on the floor. She scurries back inside and closes the door. With a glare that could slice through walls, she says, “So…..you gonna tell me anything else?” I should have known she would be waiting to pounce on me like a tiger.

  “Where’s Marabeth?” I ask, looking around the room.

  “She went home for the weekend. Sam went on some golf outing with his friends last-minute, so she decided to drive home for the night,” Julie answers, a little peeved. Her look is like lasers trying to slice through salami.

  “What?” I ask her.

  She crosses her arms and taps her foot. “Spill. It. Now.”

  Knowing I am not getting out of this, I plop down on the couch. “Well, nothing really happened at all. I mean, we walked to his dorm, we sorted through our project, we ate pizza and candy, and then he walked me back.”

  Julie is still staring at me with an annoyed look on her face. “Clara, this was a date. Did anything ELSE happen?”

  I giggle at her persistence, “No, it didn’t. I told you this was a study date, not a date-date. So there was no reason for anything else to happen.”

  With a humph, Julie sits down beside me on the couch, pulling her feet under her. “So, no googly eyes at each other, no hand-holding, no kissy-kissy?” She asks as she leans in closer to me acting like she is going to kiss me.

  Laughing, I shove her face away. “Good heavens NO, Julie! Give me a break. What did you think he was going to do to me? Tonight was the first time we’ve even hung out together. It was casual. Nothing more than that!”

  “Phooey! I was hoping to hear that something romantic happened with Dreamy Drew,” she says as she leans back on the couch, closing her eyes as she says his name.

  “Julie…this is ridiculous! And by the way, you embarrassed the crap out of me tonight. Gah!”

  Julie gives me an innocent look and asks, “What’d I do?”

  “Come on, Julie… you practically threw yourself at him when he showed up at our door.”

  “Me?” she says, pointing her finger at herself like she has no clue.

  “Next time, kill the slurred speech when you introduce yourself to a cute guy.” Standing to walk to my room, I push past her. “I’m going to bed.”

  Julie follows me down the hall saying, “I’m sorry. It’s just that he’s so….so…dreeeeeeeeeeamy,” as she places her hands over her heart and leans against the wall. Oh my gosh. She’s totally lost her mind.

  “So what’d he say when he dropped you off?”

  “He asked me if I was going to the game tomorrow,” I tell her.

  Julie bursts into a fit of laughter. “YOU? He asked if YOU were going to the game? Bahahahahahaha!”

  “Oh shut it, Julie,” I tell her, annoyed she knows me so well. Like I said, sporting events are not my scene.

  “What did you tell him?” she asks following me into my bedroom.

  “Well, I said that I’d be there. So I’m going.”

  “Really?! You are for reals gonna go to a game?!” Julie asks, jumping on my bed like a cat on a trampoline.

  “Yeah…well…he asked, so I’m going.”

  Clapping her hands in a fit of giggles, Julie jumps off my bed and says, “Ohmygosh….we have to find the perfect outfit for you to wear!”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa….hold your horses there Silver. I’m not picking out anything tonight. Plus, it doesn’t matter what I wear anyway. It’s not like he’s going to see me. I mean, he’s on the field, not in the stands. He probably won’t even know I’m there.”

  Julie turns to give me a dumbfounded look. “You have got to be kidding me.”

  “What?” I ask.

  “He asked you…YOU… to come to the game, and you are all blasé about it,” she says, approaching me. Putting both hands on my shoulders, she looks into my eyes and says, “Clara May Willet, when are you going to learn to recognize the signs that a boy likes you?”

  “I don’t think he likes me like that. It’s just a friend thing. I think he is being nice.”

  I think back to him leaving my apartment, and that fluttery feeling I got when he told me goodnight. I can only wish that meant something, but it was probably just gas from all the junk food I ate.

  “Girl, you are killing me. Kill-ling-me. What does he have to do? Wave a sign in front of your face that reads Clara Willet! I Like You…Sincerely, Drew.”

  I push Julie aside and climb into my bed. “I don’t know… I don’t want to get my hopes up. Plus, tonight was the first time that we’ve ever hung out together. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves…okay?”

  With a smirk on her face, Julie turns to leave my room. She stops before closing the door and says, “Well, we’ll see what happens tomorrow then.”

  ♦♦♦

  Saturday mornings are the best. It’s so nice not having to wake up at the butt crack of dawn, like I do when walking to class, freezing my hiney off. Although it’s only mid-October, and not even close to being really cold yet, walking across campus at 8:00 am is quite chilly. My warm, comfy bed is my friend today. The sun is peeking through the crack of my closed curtains, and I roll over to look at the clock: 10:00 am. T-minus 3 hours until game time. I lay in bed thinking about last night.

  Drew.

  A smile spreads across my face thinking about him walking me across campus, but mostly the smile stems from that moment we shared last night. The butterflies are back, so maybe it wasn’t gas after all. Reality is that Drew probably won’t even notice me at the game today, but I’m still kind of excited about going. That’s a first.

  “Wakey-wakey…It’s time to rise and shine!” Julie calls as she enters my room.

  “Good morning,” I tell her. “Did you just now wake up?”

  “Nah… I’ve been up a while,” she responds. “I went for a run this morning. Suns out, and it’s nice outside. A pretty warm day actually.” She opens my curtains wide, letting the sunlight pour in.

  “Ready for the big G-A-M-E to go see your M-A-N today?” she calls out.

  A groan escapes me as I duck beneath my covers to shield my eyes from the bright light.

  “What… are you going to back out now?” she asks.

  “No…. nothing like that,” I tell her.

  “Oh, it’s going to be fun. You’ll see!” Julie says as she walks around to sit at the edge of my bed and taps my legs. I roll over, and Julie jumps up. “I’m hitting the shower, and I suggest you do the same,” as she turns, bouncing down the hall.

  Sitting up, I put my head in my hands and wonder how today will pan out. I like Drew. A lot. But today probably means nothing, so I’m just going to tag alongside Julie and watch a football game, so I can say I was there. Who knows, I might not even stay for the whole game.

  ♦♦♦

  The stadium lawn is full of fans and students ready for a day of SSU football. Tailgaters already line the stadium drive. Julie and I are walking toward the field when someone calls out to her from a tent, so we walk over. She introduces me to most everyone gathered around the table. Some of them I know, and others I’ve never seen before. We snack on wings, chips & salsa, and chat with friends. Nearer to game time, five guys strip off their shirts and paint their chests solid red with white letters, one to each guy, that spells out D-A-W-G-S. Oh, my.

  We are right outside the stadium entrance, so we have no problem hearing the drum line when they begin the intro for the band. That’s our cue to head to the game. We all pile into the stadium, shoulder to shoulder, and find our seats. Everyone is on their feet, screaming and yelling, and many are shaking homemade noisemakers to add to the roar. Julie gives me a nudge and a big smile, and I smile back.

  The stadium goes quiet as the band begins playing the national anthem. Moments later, the roar of football fans fills the stadium again as the home football
team descends on the field. Cheerleaders fly into the air, everyone claps and cheers, and then I spot his jersey… Cason #3… as he rushes onto the field with the rest of the team. I must admit, it’s an exciting feeling as all the butterflies return to my stomach when he turns to face the stands. He, along with a few other players, raise their hands like they are trying to pump up the crowd. I can’t see his face because of the helmet, but I must say, he looks good in that uniform. I want to wave at him, but that would be stupid. I’m like a gnat in this sea of red and black.

  The first half of the game goes by relatively quick and painless. We are up 13 to 3, with only a few minutes left until halftime. Drew is the starting quarterback, so he has played most of the game so far. That is the only thing that holds my attention. People watching is far more entertaining because there are some crazy students and die-hard alumni at the game. The whistle blows for halftime, and the team runs off toward the field house. Julie tugs my arm and says, “Let’s hit the concession stand and the bathroom.” Ugh. I try to avoid those two places like the plague during halftime because of the long, long lines. But I concede, and we make our way through the crowds of people gathered at the back of the stadium.

  After 30 minutes of waiting in lines for a bathroom break and a drink, we make our way back to our seats. The student section has thinned out a bit… probably everyone is still waiting in those horrendous bathroom lines. Drew is sitting on the bench now, and I notice him looking around like he’s trying to find someone. I wonder if that someone is me and that makes those butterflies return. I have a notion of waving my hands at him as he scans the crowd but decided against it. I sit still.

  Julie is oblivious. She’s barely paid attention to any of the game because she’s been so busy talking to everyone around us. That’s just how she rolls, and it’s fine by me. I’ve focused on Drew most of the game. I’ve never really paid much attention to a football game before but watching him play is fascinating. I soak in every play, every call, every throw; he is a natural leader on the field. I think football just became my new favorite pastime.